Overwhelm. It’s a common visitor to the ADHD mind. Of course, you don’t need to have ADHD to get overwhelmed. Information overload and an abundance of consumer options plagues our society to the point of paralysis. Throw in a mind, though, that runs like a 4-second 0-60 mph Tesla, and you’ve got a recipe for frustration and overwhelm. That’s the ADHD mind in disarray.
What happens when we’re overwhelmed? We make bad and increasingly impulsive decisions. We act and say things without thinking. We get stressed, which increases our blood pressure. We become more easily agitated around family, friends, and coworkers. Too much overwhelm can ultimately make us snap!
Why are adults with ADHD more prone to overwhelm than non-ADHD adults? I’ll give you three reasons…
1. Inconsistent/Poor Time Management
Adults with ADHD are known to have issues with time. That means punctuality, underestimating how long something will take, and planning ahead. Speaking from experience, I can’t tell you the last time I planned a trip or vacation more than 3 months in advance. I will also be the first to tell you that, even with my structured Marine Corps background, I still have trouble, to this day, with punctuality. Fortunately, it happens less when I’m actually interested in the event. Many ADHDers assume they have plenty of time to get things done, but as their to-do list builds, time runs out and when you have more “to-do’s” than available time, the end result is overwhelm.
2. Unreasonable Expectations
This almost goes hand-in-hand with time management, but expands even further. In my experience, it’s often manifested by assuming the best case scenario without first gathering all the required information. If you promise the best case scenario and fail to deliver, your significant others, peers, friends, and coworkers will end up disappointed. Over time, this leads to arguments, divorces, job terminations, and grudges. It’s one thing to be positive, always hoping for the best, but there are many aspects of relationships, jobs, and social lives that require more skillful planning and coordination. At the end of the day, setting unreasonable expectations does more harm than good.
3. Misguided Focus
“Where focus goes, energy flows.” -Tony Robbins
That is one of my favorite quotes, and I couldn’t agree more with it. Of course, it can work for you or against you. When we’re focused on things that inspire us, energize us, and allow us to use our unique ADHD strengths, life is a breeze. On the contrary, when we’re doing things that are uninteresting, dull, or against what we believe in, life can become stagnant and even spiral downward. As these lackluster circumstances build up over time, the non-ADHD brain gets frustrated, but eventually learns to adapt and accept them as the norm. The ADHD brain, however, reaches a breaking point much faster. This can lead to either a promising creative solution or a bad life-altering decision.
(Photo: randychiu)
Want to break the cycle of ADHD overwhelm? Here a few things that work for me.
1. Get moving! Many ADHDers, particularly hyperactive subtypes, need an outlet for their energy. If you are proactive and find an activity ahead of time, you’re less likely to engage in negative activities later. Plus, when you engage in an activity, whether it’s exercising, hiking, biking, or even martial arts, you release those “feel good” endorphins. That, in turn, decreases the likelihood of becoming overwhelmed later.
2. Just breathe. This is especially useful right after a stressful event. Just when you feel that anxiety building up, pause and take some deep breaths. This works for adults with and without ADHD.
3. Get some sleep. Don’t underestimate the importance of sleep. It’s your daily recharge button. Lack of it can cause clumsiness, increased impulsivity, irritability, and a weakened immune system. Add this up and you’ve got a mean ADHDer. Trust me. As the father of a newborn, I’ve been there.
4. Eat well. Studies suggest that diet plays a critical role in the manifestation of many ADHD symptoms. Removing unnecessary sugars and preservatives, and adding in healthy proteins, greens, and fruits, will drastically improve long-term energy, which allows to better handle major life changes as they arise.
5. Meditate. For the ADHDer, this may seem like an impossible task. “You mean I have to sit there for 15 minutes completely still and quiet-minded? Yeah right.” Let me tell you that, like many things, it’s difficult the first time around, but if you start small, with just 5 minutes, and work your way up from there, you can get the hang of it. I can tell you that, in most cases, it helps if your meditation has some sort of white noise or nature sound to help keep your mind from wondering. Meditation is known to help reduce anxiety and impulsivity, thereby building resilience and preventing overwhelm.
6. Hire help. If you find yourself doing menial tasks on a regular basis or become stressed out from work overload, either delegate some of it, automate it, or find someone that can help. We all need help at times. Try to take it all on yourself, and you’ll just burn yourself out.
7. Do one puzzle piece at a time. When faced with enormous projects, many adults with ADHD spazz out and don’t do anything. Better yet, many will replace that time with easier tasks and end up prolonging deadlines or delivery dates. To avoid this, break your project up into manageable chunks and focus on only one piece at a time.
8. Plan buffer time. Traffic jams, surprise visits, and ill-timed diaper changes are part of every day life. When you’re working out your schedule for the day or week, make sure to account for these possibilities, so you don’t become chronically late or procrastinate. Allocate buffer time between events or meetings, and you’ll see an immediate decrease in potential anxiety.
At the end of the day, adults with ADHD will still have brains like Teslas. It’s hard-coded in our genetics. However, we can take steps to prevent overwhelm. Try one or more of the strategies above and let me know how they work for you. The more of these strategies you can integrate into your life, the more resilient you’ll become and the more prepared you’ll be when disaster strikes.
