My ’03 Celica GT… when I was a bachelor…
A few years ago, I had one of those crazy summers. You know… the kind you talk about over beers with your buddies… I had just come out of a four year relationship and was exploring every possible avenue to fill that “void” in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I was glad to be out of that relationship. I was lonely, though. So lonely… Oh, so lonely.. Okay, enough with the Bobby Vinton…
To fill the “void,” I went way out of my element. I started going to bars and clubs to pick up women, signing up for online dating sites, skydiving, drinking excessively, pimping out my ride with ridiculous mods, putting myself deep into credit card debt, and and even – yes – going to one of those “how to pick up women” weekend boot camps. In short, I took a lot of risks, made a lot of impulsive decisions, and showed zero self-control. I was a cowboy, baby.
That thrill-seeking summer was beyond over-stimulation and the funny thing is that I didn’t even find out I had ADHD until a year later. However, I don’t regret those experiences. Not even the “pick up artist” boot camp… They taught me some incredibly awesome lessons about life, perception, and accessing my inner rock star. These lessons have really become a part of who I am today.
Lesson #1: Experiences are the glue that hold your life together.
It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean. – Tony Robbins
The last three decades of my life have been chock-full of experiences, both good and bad, but mostly good. When you look back on your life, as I did when I recently turned 30, you’ll think about a lot of things: what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve contributed to the world or society, people you’ve influenced, where you’ve been, the crazy things you’ve done. Reminiscing brings up a lot of powerful memories, but experiences are usually the foundation of those memories.
Lesson #2: Perception is incredibly powerful.
When you’re interviewing for a job, the way you’re perceived can be more important than what you actually know. For some of the jobs I’ve had, I’ve interviewed knowing that I was only 60-80% competent with the requirements. Of course, with a little research before the interview, some rapport, and the right body language, I can look like someone who knows 100%. Then, I can learn the rest on the job (great for kinesthetic learners) or at home on my own time. You can apply that same concept in business, dating, social gatherings, and even fitness. If you do go down this road, though, look and act like a rock star with the intent to become one. If you just act like one for too long, people will eventually see right through you.
Check out this awesome video about perception and body language:
Lesson #3: Accountability is key when you’re making a drastic change.
There’s always something to work on in life. Get fit. Lose weight. Run a marathon. Be more social. Overcome a fear. Find a partner. Get out of debt. Get a job or a raise. The list goes on and on… A lot of these changes are easy to get started, but just as easy to quit when the discomfort hits you. To get past that discomfort and make the change stick often takes external pressure. Toward the end of my crazy summer, I hired a life coach for three months, which became the catalyst for many of the positive changes I’ve made in my life, especially regarding my emotional intelligence and productivity. You don’t necessarily have to hire a coach like I did, though. Being held accountable, whether it’s through a friend, family member, or a bet with a coworker, will help you overcome those challenges and help you achieve your goals faster and more consistently.
To avoid getting too wordy on everyone, including my fellow ADHDers, I’ve decided to split this post into two parts, with the remaining four lessons in the second part. It will be published within the next week, so stay tuned. In the meantime, drop me a comment or two. Are you accessing your inner rock star? Let me know what you think!
