(Photo: DivaInTrainingDesigns)
Chores. Chores. Where to begin… We all know that chores are a part of life and they must get done. Of course, for many, maybe most, they are absolutely no fun at all. That probably doesn’t matter to the neat freaks out there who have everything spotless in their home. Hell, I used to be like that in the Marines, where I learned the true meaning of a “white glove” inspection. Of course, life is a lot different when you don’t have a Platoon Commander inspecting every square inch of your home. The pressure is all on you at that point.
I’m bringing this up because I bought my first house a few months ago and more than doubled the amount of chores that I was doing. Most veteran homeowners have chore management down to a science, but for my girlfriend and I, it’s definitely required some adjustment. On top of that, my girlfriend is nearly 7 months pregnant, so I’m also taking care of additional errands, strenuous tasks, etc. As a result, my biggest challenge has been consistency.
As you know already, people with ADHD have a problem following through. We prioritize typically on interest rather than actual importance. For example, impulsively buying something on Amazon when you need to find a job… Particularly interesting are things like chores. The dreaded chores, that most people dislike doing, but do anyway because they respect their family or spouse, and want a clean, presentable living environment… With ADHD, though, it’s not that simple. Things like that will slip through the cracks, and then when it becomes noticeably apparent, we’ll finally take care of it, but not without immense anxiety. This actually creates a perpetual cycle of procrastination due to lack of interest, followed by anxiety leading up to the task, and then an added resentment that builds immediately after completing it, which leads back to procrastination, and so on. Even worse, this cycle puts increasing stress on our relationships.
So how can you stay on track with chores despite competing interests, a full-time job, family, friends, and hobbies? I’ve got a few tips for you right here.
But first… Did you know that according to a survey in 2012 done by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the American adult spends an average of nearly 2 hours a day on household duties? (read more here). That includes everything from typical chores to cooking, and even occasional household fixes. If you read the survey, it shows that women typically do more than men, but I’m not going to get into that here. The point is that household duties really do take up a lot of our time, and they’re here to stay.
(Photo: Jeff the Trojan)
The tips below have been the most effective for me in terms of chore management. I’m sure many of you already use one or more of these, but if you need some additional motivation and consistency, feel free to try out something else in the list.
1. Schedule your chores. When you’re doing your weekly planning, build in time chunks for things like laundry, bathroom cleaning, or dusting. In the meantime, keep a running list of “one-off” household fixes that need to be done, and build in time for these each week so you can gradually cross them off.
2. Play music while doing your chores. Music can do amazing things to our current state. If we’re pissed off or annoyed that we have to clean the bathroom, pairing that chore with music we enjoy can actually change how we feel about the chore itself. For example, if I have to clean a bathroom and it’s going to take 15-20 minutes, I’ll bring in my iPod dock and blast music while I’m cleaning. Nothing like some old school Metallica or even some Bob Marley while you’re scrubbing toilets…
3. Just be mindful. If music doesn’t change how you feel, this can do wonders. For those of us with ADHD, it can be difficult to establish this sort of awareness, but it can be liberating. For starters, leave the music off and try to eliminate any outside distractions. While you’re cleaning, take time to observe your senses – the sound of the rushing water, the feel of a cool breeze coming in through an open window, the sight of noticeably cleaner porcelain… If you have stray thoughts, negative or positive, acknowledge them and let them pass through. Begin to feel grateful that you have the capability to do this, and the opportunity to provide a clean, sanitary environment for the people you love.
Depending on the location and nature of the chore, or how long it’ll take, I’ll vary between the music and the mindfulness, both of which make a significant difference in my attitude toward cleaning. The scheduling, though, helps me stay consistent.
The tips I provided above are typically for unavoidable chores that we must do. Of course, if you have the money or the support from your family, you can always rotate chores to allow for something more interesting. You can even pay someone like a housekeeper to take care of them. Be creative if you have to.
Take a stand against chores today. End the cycle of procrastination and anxiety, and the stress on your relationships. Enlist the support of your loved ones if you can. Take control of your ADHD. Take control of your time and your state of mind.
Do these tips work for you? Do you have other creative ways of managing chores? Please share your thoughts.
